What I Want to Believe

I would like to believe that no news is good news. Mom called to check if Dr. Shih has called me for the results of her biopsy. I haven’t heard anything so I immediately made the phone call. The doctor was in but no results yet. The secretary said they will call the hospital on Monday.

I have to reassure Mom again not to worry. Last night she complained what could be the cause of the delay. I said it is good that they are being careful with the results but she is not convinced. She said if the result is that simple, then why wait. I wish I could tell her that “simple” could be a double-edged sword. What I want to believe is her case is not critical, that it is something not that crucial that the specialist has set it aside in lieu of more pressing cases.

I would like to believe that the tumor is not malignant that it can be taken out and the rest of her liver remains healthy and it will regenerate. And that she will after all, like her Mom, my grandmothers will live until they get tired of living, she will die of old age.

Studies found that nuns and priests live long because they have an inner purpose in life. I believe that Mom does too. She still has very young grandchildren that depends on her a lot, whose mother have left for a foreign country and would be lost without her guidance. She’s got to believe that her purpose on this earth is not over.

Sure we have the weekend to wait again but that’s a weekend that will be filled with more prayers and petitions that God will bless her and grant what our hearts whisper and desires. In a way we have been given more time, a reprieve to ask the Virgin Mother and our favorite saints to intercede for us.

I know many people are out there praying for her and for us. I feel at peace and so calm. I know in the end our long wait will only mean good news. I have faith.

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